Local Stupidity

Sins of Punctuation

2009-01-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

Ah, those dreaded marks of punctuation. I suppose you don't have to use them correctly in your everyday life if you hate them so, but please, PLEASE, for the love of Pete, use them correctly if you are going to write something that will be seen publicly by thousands, or even millions, of people. You know?

Here are a few fun ones that I found locally:

At Macy's grocery store. (Actually, I believe that store is named "Macys," which is another punctuation blunder).

At Wal-Mart. Must the apostrophe be so abused? I know he's a cute little guy, but that doesn't mean you can stick him anywhere you please.

Smile MY on camera? And a comma might be nice...

2 things that do not go well together

2008-11-01T22:34:00.001-07:00

You just KNOW that they can smell that pizza during meetings. Why oh why would you EVER build a Weight Watchers there?!

Heelarious

2008-08-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

www.heelarious.com
Now, maybe somebody reading this will think this is cute or fashionable, but I can't help but feel that selling high-heels for babies is kind of...well, sick. I'm sure it's meant to be funny, but it's still kind of sad. Isn't it a great way to start off life, by being already bogged down by the world of frivolous fashion trends? To me, it seems ridiculous. Your child is a person, not a doll.

Uhh, is that REALLY a sign you want to ignore?

2008-06-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

This stupidity is VERY local, and VERY stupid.
These pictures were recently taken at a nearby park where I enjoy going often.
Not only are there young children playing, wading, and swimming in the fountain, but there is an adult walking around in there, too.
I'd say that if you are just dying to get cryptosporidium or another delightful parasite or illness from the water, this is the best way to do it. Were warnings like this just made to be ignored?
I'm sad to say that every time I walk through the park, there are always people in that fountain...

A gassy situation

2008-06-18T09:59:00.001-07:00

Just read the first two words of this sign out loud, and you'll be sure they did it on purpose.
I wouldn't have expected that here in Happy Valley, I guess.

What's the point?

2008-03-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

CRAIG DILGER/Daily Herald

Illustration: Vitamin D Milk - February 27, 2008

Thursday, 28 February 2008

Got Hormones?

The Associated Press

Utah officials want to control the labels on milk cartons and other dairy products. Milk processors would be able to promote their product as being free of artificial hormones. But only if they also say there's no significant difference when compared to milk from cows that are treated with growth hormones.

THE PROPOSAL RANinto some opposition during a public hearing Tuesday.

The Utah Food Industry Association said the federal government should regulate labels, not states. The Dairy Foods Association, based in Washington, D.C., said there's no public outcry for label restrictions.

But Utah's agriculture commissioner, Leonard Blackham, said a rule is necessary to prevent consumers from being confused. He recalled seeing dairy products in Utah stores declaring, "No hormones!"

"All food from a living organism has hormones," Blackham said.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says companies are allowed to claim their milk comes from cows that were not treated with rBGH, as long as the labels do not "mislead consumers" to believe the milk is safer or better.

"You're headed in the right direction," Brian Lowry of the Monsanto Co., maker of the hormone, said at the Utah hearing.

Ogden dairy farmer Kerry Gibson, who also is a state lawmaker, said labels that say there are no artificial hormones elicit "an emotional response in consumers who don't have time to research the issue."

Under Utah's proposed rule, the state can penalize violators up to $5,500 and could recall mislabeled products. If the rule is adopted, there first will be a 30-day comment period.

Pennsylvania banned hormone-free labeling in October, but later rescinded the ban. Ohio has held hearings on the issue, and the state's agriculture director is expected to issue a decision.

A bill in the Indiana Legislature was recently pulled because it stirred too much controversy.

Some opponents of stricter labeling, including Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., say it's a First Amendment issue. The company has labeled its ice cream as free of a synthetic hormone.

There's a reason this tree is 50% off...

2007-11-21T14:40:00.001-08:00

Looks like a great tree, until you realize....
IT DOESN'T HAVE A TRUNK!
Nice Photoshop job, K-Mart!

Wedding Ring Coffin

2007-10-29T09:18:00.001-07:00

weddingringcoffin.com

I don't know whether to call this ridiculous or clever. It's a funny concept but just so...strange. After the divorce, this is a way to let your marriage "rest in peace" or something like that.

I think I'd sell the ring instead of holding onto it for grieving, but that's just me.

Pop-Up Pirate

2007-09-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah...that's a GREAT educational game for young children...
(yes, they ARE trying to stick swords into the pirate guy inside the barrel.)

Fun Bugz

2007-08-26T15:01:00.001-07:00

At the checkout stand, I noticed this package of gummi candy from everyone's favorite maker of gummi-related products, Black Forest. The idea is that they have a gummi outside with a juicy inside (like Gushers).

But upon observing the wrapper more closely, I realized that it had some serious issues.

Why is that bug sitting back and relaxing when his guts are gushing out all over the place?!

I'm so glad Dave had his camera phone.

Worst Playground Ever

2007-07-27T17:59:00.001-07:00

Stupidity doesn't get any more local than this--my own apartment complex.
I don't know when there was last a playground here, but from the looks of things it's been years...decades, maybe?
Kids love playing with gravel you know...

For Sissies

2007-07-23T08:56:00.001-07:00

You can't convince me that this is only a coincidence. (notice both the sign in the foreground and the billboard in the background).

Salmon

2007-07-22T13:59:00.001-07:00

It just seems too obvious to not be considered stupid.

Pizzas that are shaped like stuff

2007-07-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ah, the shaped pizza...a trend that has swept the nation. Well, I don't actually know about that, but what I DO know is that from time to time I'll find them on TV or in paper ads around here.

The most common kind of shaped pizza is the heart. Awww. You start seeing these around Valentine's Day. Now, I have no problem with this pizza. The shape doesn't take away from the fact that it is indeed a pizza, and you aren't getting much less of a pizza (ie, it's still about the same size as a regular pizza).

But then things go terribly wrong come March.

What the crap? This pizza design doesn't quite 'cut' it for me. It leaves you with a ridiculously small pizza (hardly worth the 4.99) and how the crap do you cut it? As far as shaped pizzas go, this one takes last place.

Oh...and in case you couldn't tell from the picture...THE CHEESE IS GREEN!

If I were attending Pizza High, I'd shove this loser of a pizza in its locker and steal its lunch money.

I rest my case.

I wish Bill would have his hearing checked...

2007-07-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is a lovely example of stupidity found in the newspaper.

Seriously...if these are the kinds of thoughts that are going through your head on your or your child's wedding day, you should probably be checking your priorities, not your hearing. Know what I mean? I think that wondering about the upcoming reception or honeymoon would be slightly more appropriate.

My favorite part is the bride's thought bubble. "What a wonderful day?" Is this a question, or just uncertainty? Maybe this goes deeper that we will ever realize...

Local Stupidity

2007-07-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

The Local Stupidity project is an ongoing effort to find and expose particularly stupid things around the area I live. I'm not saying that my hometown produces more stupidity than any other place...it's just that I happen to live here, you see, and that makes it more convenient.

Here, I will post things that I find from various sources. At the very least it will be horribly entertaining, so come along with me and dabble in the supidity that is all around us.

--Karen